High Heels On A Dirt Road

Changing seasons

2011-11-02T12:23:00.000-07:00

This year we made the decision to send our oldest, our seven year old boy, to a private school part time. For a proud homeschooler, it was not an easy decision. And I have to admit, it's a decision my husband is still not very happy about. It was really all my idea.

I love homeschooling, but there were challenges. My son was not reading at the level I thought he should and I was at a loss as to how to improve it. I read blogs, books, had him read for professionals and prayed. Most of the homeschooling advice I got was to just wait it out because boys read later than girls. But I couldn't do that.

We are very fortunate in my area to have a wonderful new christian school that uses the classical method. It's not a Charlotte Mason type school like Ambleside in San Angelo or Fredricksburg, but I think the classical method is the next best thing. I really felt like God was leading me at least visit with the school head mistress. Amazingly, she was open to letting our son attend part time. In other words, he would go there three days a week and the rest of the week I would do school with him at home. I thought it was an amazing opportunity to have the best of both worlds - private school and homeschool

My husband is beginning to come around. It is a logistical nightmare to get him to school, even for three days a week. Plus, he loves having his kids around full time. As do I. And I really believe homeschooling is the fabulous education if you do it right. For us, it has been a blessing. I wouldn't trade learning at home in a nurturing environment for anything. I would never do this if it was full time or if it was public school, at least not at an early age.

I have to say though, after a few months of doing both private school and homeschooling, my son is flourishing. His reading has improved dramatically. I think it has a lot to do with reading in front of other kids. Since he is of a competitive nature, reading in front of others who read well makes him try harder. That may not work with some kids, but it works with him. And he loves his school and his teacher and they really love him. We went to our first parent/teacher conference last week and his teacher told us that she had been praying for him. I was so touched. I can't imagine hearing those words from a teacher when I was in school!

He actually wanted to wear this tie to his first day of school.

I pray that the school continues to let us go part time and that my other children will have the opportunity to go there. That will give my children the chance to experience learning at home and still have a private christian school education. It's in God's hands, but I am so thankful.

The Monarch Invasion

2011-10-31T09:08:00.000-07:00

After the longest, hottest, burnt to a crisp, dry summer in history, I was shocked that we had the largest influx of Monarch migration that I've seen since being at the ranch. It seems every other form of wildlife has suffered greatly because of the drought, but the Monarch swarm was bigger than ever!

The kids loved walking through the trees, surrounded by butterflies. We have them every year, but not in the abundance we've seen this year. I know they're just moving through, but they brought us a little hope that not all is lost in this parched land.

My own little butterflies enjoyed climbing the trees to try and touch the monarchs.

RANCH KIDS ON A MISSION Junior Ranger Day - Ft. Davis National Historic Site

2011-08-13T08:55:00.000-07:00

Here we are back at the fort again and this time we're here for Junior Ranger Day and we've brought along a friend. We're so excited to be back after having so much fun a the fort's Frontier Christmas. The first thing we did is sign in and they even gave us bandanas to wear!

We were given an introduction to the Fort and then they showed us the barricks where the enlisted men lived. The men slept in cots with wool blankets. They played games in their spare time and cleaned their weapons.

One of the brave Buffalo Soldiers explaining the interesting history of the Buffalo Soldiers at Ft. Davis

the names of the enlisted men still hang on their beds

The card table where the men played cards

Then we split in to two groups and the girls went one way and the boys went the other. Girls went to the beautiful cotton wood trees and made handmade dolls, learned songs and made other crafts.

The staff were very nice to help me make my doll. They have alot of pretty fabric to choose from.

Look at the pretty doll my friend made

The boys learned how to hold their rifles, shoot the canon and build a tent to sleep in.

Later on, the girls also got to learn how to hold and shoot weapons.

Then everyone was taken to the kitchen and the nice ladies showed us how they made homemade ice cream by kicking around a can with milk and cream in it. Afterwards, we even got to eat the ice cream!

As usual, we loved our time at Fort Davis! The people that work there are so nice and helpful and we learn so many interesting things! It makes us appreciate how easy it is for us to live here now thanks to the sacrifices the early settlers made at the fort.

Independence Day in Rural America - 4th of July in Ft. Davis Texas

2011-07-04T12:00:00.000-07:00

Patriotism is still alive in rural America folks! In fact, few places in the United States showcase the resilience of the American Spirit more than this small little town. It was only a few months ago that Ft. Davis was ravaged by a wildfire that burned 314,000 acres. Many families lost their homes. Ranchers lost valuable grassland already devastated by drought, livestock were lost and hundreds burned, fences were burned to the ground. Most ranchers had to sell off what cattle they had left because they had no where to put them.

photo by Carolyn Nored Miller

During the wildfire, this small town did what other small towns like Joplin, small towns in the South and in Minot, North Dakota have done - they banded together and took care of each other. Ranchers and cowboys fought their own fires beside the volunteer fire department and Foresty Service, they looked for each other's cattle and lended what little land they had left to pasture cattle for those that had lost everything. Neighbours took in those that had lost their homes, restaurants shut down to donate their time and their food to feed the hungry, churches opened up to serve first responders meals and volunteers poured in immediately to assist in distributing resources.

This weekend, Ft. Davis was ready for a celebration. The town was determined to show it's true colors and red, white and blue were displayed everywhere. And thank God, people showed up. Hundreds of people from all over the state came to celebrate the 4th with the townspeople. The parade seemed even larger this year. Several long time residents had their family reunions and were in the parade, the Prude Ranch summer camp kids filled flatbed trailers, the Ft. Davis National historic site Buffalo Soldiers marched, the Martinez family rode their horses, the Baize family rode side saddle, and anybody with a four wheeler or a dune buggy roared loudly down the parade route.

Every type of law enforcement or civic organization imaginable was represented from the Sheriff's Department, the Fire Department, EMS and Border Patrol. Apparently, the only rule is that there are no rules and anyone with a siren can be in the parade.

After the parade, people gathered around the courthouse lawn (the only green patch of grass anywhere in the tri-county area, by the way) and enjoyed a very eclectic array of culinary choices from food vendors. You could find anything from the 4H crew selling BBQ, Menudo to Turkey Legs and Shrimp on a Stick. Of course there were the wide assortment of booths selling everything from lavender ice cream to handmade rocking chairs. We even had a barbershop quartet serenading people. And at the historic Ft. Davis National Bank they had a bank robbery re-enactment for those that wanted to see the mayor, local pastors and other townspeople, dress up and shoot each other.

Ft. Davis Methodist Church Float

My two year old melted down about half way through the festivities and so we didn't stay for the shoot out or the street dance that evening. The kids were actually on a float this year instead of watching from the side lines so we left the ranch early to be at the parade route in time. I'm glad they had the chance to be in the parade for once, but it's also nice to sit in your lawn chair and get pegged in the head with candy by kids that don't know how to throw, while watching all of the interesting characters go by.

So if you ever want something different to do for the 4th of July, and you feel like driving a long way to Far West Texas to a little town in the mountains called Ft. Davis, please do. It will be worth the drive. They'll probably even put you in the parade!

The Patriot and Rooster Cogburn - can you get any more American that that?

Couponing for Country Girls

2011-06-24T08:35:00.000-07:00

Are you one of the millions like me and others that have become addicted to coupons after watching TLC's 'Extreme Couponing'? Have you thought to yourself, "I can totally do that! I would love to pay $2.00 for $600 worth of groceries too!"

My couponing transformation has shocked a few of my friends and family because I'm not known to be what you'd call 'thrifty'. As one of my bff's said, "aren't you the girl who spent more on a dress for my wedding at that Japanese boutique in NYC than I did on my wedding dress?" But as I say time and time again, 'I'm a shell of my former self'. For instance, this morning I got up extra early to hang around Facebook waiting on a Bounty coupon. Pathetic.

Saving a lot of money by couponing is a great goal if you live in the suburbs, but if you live in a rural community, on a farm or ranch, then its a little harder to do.

And here's why

1. Small town grocery stores are much more expensive that large super market chains. I'm a big believer in shopping local, especially when your local grocery store contributes so much to the community and hires alot of local people, but items at our local grocery store are at least $1.00 per expensive than at stores in larger communities. If you use your coupons you may end up paying the same price as you would at a large store so it's still worth it to use coupons. I generally save about $10 on small shopping trips.

2. It is a long way to cheap. My nearest Walmart, Target or large supermarket chain is 3 hours away from the ranch so I have to figure in the high cost of gas into the savings equation. Carpooling with a girlfriend is your best bet.

And that is why I love Dollar General. I know, I know, some of you are shaking your heads, but in my little town we have the Neiman Marcus of all Dollar Generals. And I did a price comparison with WalMart the last time I was in the city, and Dollar General is cheaper. (on the items I purchased at least) Granted, you can't find everything there, but that is where I buy all of my household cleaning supplies, paper products, cereal and diapers.

3. If you don't cook alot of processed or convenience food then you're not going to find alot of coupons. I have yet to find many coupons for flour, sugar, eggs and other basic necessities. And meat! Not alot of meat coupons. We're blessed to have free beef on the ranch, but I also like to cook chicken and pork and pork.

There's a ton of deli coupons for sausage, hot dogs and sandwich meat, but if you stay away from foods with alot of nitrates then you're out of luck. And forget about finding healthy, organic alternatives from brands like Natures Path, etc. (if I"m wrong and you have info on alternative brands that I should know about please, please correct me b/c I'd love to know)

4. Unless you have access to large volume newspapers, coupons are hard to come by. That is why I print most of mine, which means you have to sign up for every internet offer, website and facebook page. You also have to factor in the cost of printing in to your savings equation. Therefore, I have found my favorite source for coupons is :

http://www.thecouponclippers.com/.

Please visit their site. You can pick and choose from their large data base of coupons and they will clip them for you and mail them to you at a rate of about .08 per coupon. So instead of saving $1.00 you might only save .92 but still! It beats paying and average of $6.00 a week for Sunday papers to find coupons. And you can order multiple coupons for the same items.

How to start

Get a coupon organizer. I bought this one from Target the last time I was in the city.

it's hard to get a decent photo of anything without my silly kitty sticking her nose in it

You can also buy them off of amazon.com. Don't go hog wild and buy one of those massive binders just yet, until you know your commitment level.

Get a group of girls together to carpool with and maybe swap coupons when you have too many of one kind of coupon.

Join sites such as http://www.coupons.com/ (they have a great toolbar that prints coupons), http://www.thecouponclippers.com/, http://www.commonsensewithmoney.com/, http://www.shopathome.com/, http://www.mommysavers.com/, http://www.couponcabin.com/ and I know there are many more. Alot of these sites have the same coupons but sometimes you get lucky. And sign up on your favorite manufacturers sites.

If you cloth diaper, make everything from scratch and use only natural cleaning products, God Bless you! but you are not going to get alot out of couponing. In fact, one thing I noticed from watching Extreme Couponing is the amount of junk people bought. One lady bought like 24 cases of soft drinks and 50 bags of chips and candy. Well, who cares if you save $200 if it ends up killing you!

Here are a couple of tips

Don't try to use your coupons on a shopping trip with your kids because its very frustrating to flip through your coupon book, double check your prices and keep an eye on your little ones at the same time.

Resist the urge to buy stuff you don't need or would never use just because you have a coupon for it. I'm still wondering what I'm going to do with the 4 bottles of chocolate syrup I bought last week.

But you could also use this as a great ministry for your community, church or local food bank. Maybe you don't have kids in diapers, but since diaper coupons are readily available you could stockpile diapers and donate them.

Couponing is labor intensive to a degree, but anytime I can save money on a grocery bill it's a good day. The last time I drove 3 hours to the nearest city with my massive, well planned grocery list I ended up saving $60 on top of factoring in what it would have cost me to shop at our local store. After I factored in gas and the price of coupons, I saved quite a bit of money. Next time I plan on carpooling with friends and saving even more.

So if you're even remotely interested in couponing, but you don't know where to start and the long dirt road seems endless, I say go for it! The worst that could happen is you're stuck with a coupon book and a case of chocolate syrup.

Remembering Cody

2011-06-18T09:48:00.000-07:00

Today snuck up on me for the first time in 18 years. Usually, I know it's coming for weeks to come. I feel it in my muscle memory and it haunts my self conscience. But this year, I remembered it only when someone said the date and I said to myself, "hmm, what is today, besides the day before Fathers Day?" I should have remember and terrified I realized that the time had finally come that I would forget the day my only sibling was killed.

Instead, I saw a hawk on Spanish dagger, my little boy walked by me in his cowboy hat, I heard the jiggling of my husbands spurs and in the background I heard someone playing Tejano music. Clearly Cody came back to me in a very peaceful way and not in the sudden, grief filled explosion of the first ten years after he was gone.

He has almost been gone as long as he was alive and that also brings a certain sadness. Sometimes it feels like a hundred years ago and sometimes it feels like yesterday. I know as an old woman I will still remember his smile and all of our wonderful times together and yet it feels so good not to constantly relive the pain of the loss, but to celebrate that he was here at all.

Remembering Cody

(1973-1993)

Cody at two years old

our first trip to a mall to see Santa

Cody at eight years old

His ninth birthday

Cody at eighteen years old

His side kick Cowboy

On a rodeo trip to Montana and Wyoming

Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is your faithfullness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion, therefore I will wait for Him. - Lamentations 3:17

Okay...the abyss still has me...

2011-06-14T13:07:00.000-07:00

I just thought I was back. It wasn't really a technical abyss I was in after all, but more of a spiritual, physical and mental abyss. I've told those of you before that have read my blog that springtime is not the best of times for me. Here on top of the rocky mesa the wind blows hard and non stop for months. That, coupled with almost 8 months of no rain and then one of the largest wildfires in Texas history, has made me a little blah. Oh, and my garden has failed miserably! My husband gets a bit irritated that I keep pumping money into a futile obsession, but he has no idea how much gardening means to me. Gardening makes me happy. When it doesn't work because of high winds, a drought, plagues of grasshoppers and roaming varmints, I'm drawn in to a bit of a depression.

This is what most of the Davis Mountains area of Texas looks like now

This is why I haven't even stepped foot in to this blog in months. I don't have really have anything fun or inspirational to say and no one wants to log on to a Debbie Downer blog and read some housewife whining. But I am failing miserably at Everything. I've even ditched homeschooling so that my kids can go part time to the private school in town. Yes, I'm willing to drive an hour each way so that my kids can actually learn something from someone else other than me! If I can't grow tomatoes, then how in the world can someone expect me to teach my children to read.

I know so many of you also struggle with the same feelings of inadequacy. Those feelings seem to come with the territory if you're putting alot of effort in to being a good wife and mother. It would be easier to be one of those moms who sit their kids down in front of Sponge Bob with some Doritos and a Mountain Dew while you smoked and watched soaps in your bedroom (not that there's anything wrong with that). But if you're putting 100 percent in to your family, it's easy to put too much pressure on yourself. Ask any homeschooling mother about pressure....

But I love my blogging community. Sometimes I need to be the one that finds inspiration in another's words and I need to take a rest from my own expectations. I've had to admit to myself lately that it is hard to be so remote, even though I'm probably more prepared for this life than most. It is hard to home school, even though I absolutely love it. And it is hard to have a garden in the desert when the devil birds are stalking your squash seedlings and the javelinas eat your tomato plants. I just keep praying and remembering...

give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

(if I had a picture of a cute fuzzy kitten I would put it here)

The long walk back from the abyss

2011-04-04T10:02:00.000-07:00

For people who want to live 'off the grid', I say come live at my house. I'm not even near a grid.

The last few months have been a struggle to maintain this blog. I might as well be Amish, with as much access to water, electricity and technology as I've had. But now our phone and Internet is working, we have water and electricity and unless a wildfire wipes us out because it's so darned dry around here, life should return to normal. Whatever normal is.

Hiking with family

2011-02-22T16:28:00.000-08:00

It is remarkably warm here at the ranch in contrast to the sub zero temps we had almost two weeks ago. Typical of this area, we go from ten to 80 degrees in a very short time. But I'm not complaining because we had a very mild winter compared to most people in the U.S.

Now the water problems are slowly being repaired, my house is returning to normal and the sunshine beckons us outdoors. I've spent so much time trying to dig out of the piles of laundry and dishes left over from going without water in the house that I was really getting cabin fever. So when we had our first warm day that wasn't windy (those days are few and far between February - May) our family decided to go arrowhead hunting for the first time in almost a year.

We have to take the ranch dune buggy to the area we like to hike. And when I say 'hike' let me clarify my version of hiking. It really means walking on big rocks. We live in terrain that is hard to really go hiking in because we're surrounded by things that will poke, cut or bite you.

This will be the first time to take the Punkin since she has really started walking and it will be good to get her out in the rocks and get her used to it. I have always carried her in a backpack, but now that she is two she will be able to get around with her brother and sister, who navigate the rocks like little Auodads.

Punkin is not as excited about walking around by herself as I thought she would be. The grass is really high.

Thankfully her big sister likes to hold her hand and walk with her. She loves to be a little mommy. She babies Punkin more than any of us.

My son is little too adventurous and so most of my time was spent making sure he didn't fall and break his arm. Our dog Diego never leaves his side.

We're only out and hour or two before someone starts crying for a diaper change, a snack or because one of them finally falls in to a cactus. Daddy has taken all the whining he can stand and waits patiently in the dune buggy.

Now that Mommy has been outside to get her much needed Vitamin D, I feel much better. Sometimes it just takes a little sunshine and exercise.

Bad Mommy Days

2011-02-15T11:32:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I have a bad Mommy day. There's nothing else I can do that sufficiently explains why everything just goes wrong inside this house. I can blame it on all different kinds of factors, but sometimes...its just me.

As anyone that knows me can tell you, I have the patience of Job. I seldom lose my temper. However, I feel like I am at maximum capacity today. The deep freeze of the millennium has left us without water for almost two weeks. Apparently the freeze burnt a pump out and although we had water, it was nary a trickle and I couldn't wash dishes, do laundry or take a bath for over a week. You can imagine the pile up that has occurred in a house with three small children and a working man.

This is unusual for this part of Texas and even more frustrating, it was unaccompanied by any type of moisture, which we desperately need. Apparently, according to the older folks in town, this has not happened since 1962, a tale that has now local folklore because all of the women who told me about this also remember their husbands being out for days busting up frozen water troughs while they stayed home giving spit baths to their own children. Of course, dishwashers and washing machines were still a bit of a luxury and they weren't smack down crazy trying to figure out what to do with themselves without these appliances. I thumb through my mother in law's grandmothers journal trying to find some reference to how she handled something like this but....she had people! I don't. I AM the people.

I haven't mopped the floors, the towels lie molding in the corner, no one has clean sheets, dishes pile up in the sink still swimming in their pre super bowl glory, and laundry is stacked up in piles waiting to be put away as I've loaded and, then unloaded them after two hour round trips to town to wash.

Anyway.... back to the reason I'm so grouchy. I'm frustrated and overwhelmed and I'm projecting this on to my children. The chaos is everywhere and I think chaos is breeding chaos like jackrabbits around here. Not to mention all three of the children are sick which makes them whiny and temperamental. It's a trifecta of craziness! So apparently all of the habit training Charlotte Mason talked about is out the window! No one is cleaning up after themselves, there's UFC fight championships being held over stuffed animals, the littlest scrape sends them over into full throttle breakdowns, the baby keeps getting into markers and using them for makeup, school doesn't get started until 9 a.m. and even when it starts it just stalls.....and I find myself whirling through the house yelling like a character out of some Edward Albee play.

When children sense frustration, instability and chaos, it makes them nervous and when they're nervous they take it out on each other, you and the living room furniture. Slowly but surely, you have to redirect their energies to something productive and then get back on a schedule. I have to calm down. I've resorted to using my Mary Poppins voice. I don't really mean anything I say with my Mary Poppins voice, but it's like being a greeter at the Gap, eventually you'll start believing yourself and the mood is changed.

Ten Days of Charlotte Mason with www.ourjourneywestward.com

2011-02-11T11:34:00.000-08:00

I sometimes have a hard time explaining our homeschooling method, the Charlotte Mason philosophy, to people who are interested in how we teach our children. I say it's a philosophy because it's not a curriculum but a way of life.

Cindy, at www.ourjourneywestward.com is hosting Ten Days of Charlotte Mason, sponsored by Heart of the Matter's blog hop. She is doing a wonderful job of explaining the intricacies of the Charlotte Mason method and explaining key points of the method such as narration, living books, copy work, artists and composers and nature study. So if you can, join us for a great discussion!

Five goals for February

2011-02-07T11:49:00.000-08:00

For February I'm following the lead of Jess at http://www.makinghome.blogspot.com/ and posting five goals I've made for myself. As I told her, I tend to make lofty, unattainable goals that leave me feeling like a big loser, so this month I'm going to keep it simple.

1. eat healthier. This doesn't mean I'm going on another crazy diet with my friend Rachel. I did the Cinch diet last month and actually gained two pounds. How anyone can gain weight from eating spinach and raspberries for five days is beyond me.

No, this time I'm concentrating on eating more whole grains, fruits and vegetables and staying away from fried foods and sugar. I'm also going to stick to the Deceptively Delicious and Sneaky Chef cookbooks and trick my kids in to eating healthier as well.

2. Posting more regularly on my blog.

3. Keeping my school room more organized.

4. Start my mornings off by reading scripture.

5. Pay more attention to my toddler during school hours instead of parking her in front of Dora.

If you need a good laugh this Christmas...

2010-12-23T10:39:00.000-08:00

Go on over to the Prairie Mother. She has a post that will make you wet your pants its so funny. And in the middle of cooking, frantically cleaning and getting ready for the onslaught of hunters arriving the day after Christmas, I needed a good laugh:

http://prairiemother-prairiemother.blogspot.com/2010/12/christmas-letter-of-failure.html

Michelle

A Frontier Christmas

2010-12-21T11:51:00.000-08:00

The kids had the privilege to attend the Ft. Davis National Historic Site's Frontier Christmas last week with the local home school association. We are so lucky to live in an area where we have an amazing historical treasure like Fort Davis and their living history presentations are a true gift to our children. It was completely authentic, interesting and interactive. Their volunteers and experts were engaging and friendly and the reconstruction of the fort and the day to day operations of the fort and the culture of the frontier is awe inspiring. It's hard to put in to words how wonderful it really was so I'll let the kids tell you.

We met our friends at the Fort

We learned old fashioned games like pushing a hoop and the ring toss.

It wasn't as easy as it looked.

Then we went in to the barracks and the soldiers showed us the uniforms they have to wear. They are mostly made out of wool.

I like wearing the soldiers hat. Later on, they showed us how to stand at attention and hold our weapons.

The ladies of the fort showed the girls what kind of clothes women had to wear in the 1880's. There were bloomers and slips and bustles, corsets, capes and bonnets.

Some of the girls got to try on clothes that little girls would've worn back then.

There were many nice people who told us about what it was like to live here back then.

There was only a few stops between San Antonio and El Paso and the road was very dangerous. It was hard to get supplies

All of their supplies had to be transported by wagons from very long distances away.

All of the supplies were kept in the commissary, which was like the grocery store at the fort.

We then went to a house where soldiers wives showed us the wood burning stove and let us make cookies using an old recipe.

The wood burning stove was very hot.

Because the wood burning stove is really hot, the cookies had to be very small.

I really like the cookies

We made old fashioned Christmas cards to send to our soldiers

Our friend, Mary, gave us a tour of the Officer's house

It was beautifully decorated for Christmas.

Mary also showed us the beautiful hand made ornaments on the Christmas tree

We hiked up a trail to see some old photos posted along the trail.

We had a great view of the entire fort

As an added bonus, we got to meet Santa Claus for the first time.
I guess he stopped to deliver goods to the commisary.

We had a great time at Fort Davis. I hope we get to come back next year.

Merry Christmas!

Decorating in a land without Hobby Lobby

2010-12-14T14:27:00.000-08:00

For those of you who are geographically challenged as I am, it's sometimes hard to find decorations that are sophisticated and affordable. Our nearest source of any home decor items is the local Dollar store or the hardware store, neither of which are very inspirational. Now don't get me wrong, I like folksy, americana style made in china versions of snowmen and santas as much as the next girl, but I am always on the hunt for something more authentic. So I started looking in the pasture.....

A friend of mine, who I have to say I've never met but we've become great friends through the miracle of the Internet, has proven to be a big decorating inspiration to me. She lives on a ranch in southwest Texas, in a lovely rock home that has been her family for many generations. She is wonderfully talented for using indigenous materials to decorate her home. The photos I'm posting due her no justice, but I've had a downloading malfunction so bare with me.

I tried to copy her idea this year by taking a large, shallow, wooden bowl and placing antlers, leftover pine sprigs and pine cones in it with a ribbon garnish. She used fresh apples and pine cones, which I think is a better idea.

My version of my friend, Shawn's, centerpiece - I like hers better

One thing you will never have a shortage of when you live on a ranch is antlers or horns of some kind. You find them lying all about the pasture. I have used antlers for many things. In fact, in my house you find a lot of wood, antlers, leather and rock.

I used an old Hereford Association trophy to make a floral display and added ribbon for the holidays

I gathered rosemary from my backyard and made something to hang over the door so my husband can complain about it every time he walks in the door. falalalala

I am sparing you anything made with bandannas or barbed wire.

And I would love to hear ideas you have as well!!!

Lonely and Forlorn

2010-11-30T13:17:00.000-08:00

The prevailing question I get from most people when they find out where I live is, "who's your nearest neighbor?" I think they're going to pass out when I tell them that I don't have a nearest neighbor. The only neighbor I have is about 20 miles away, and they're nearest neighbor is about 15 miles away in the opposite direction, which is town.

For a beautiful fleeting moment we did have neighbors and they were great. They were a young, newly married couple and they were new to the area. He was about 6'8 and the only person I think my husband has ever looked up too, literally. She was 5'3, bright and cheery with a great sense of humor. And could do anything. Anything. She rode horses, worked cattle, made her own comforter for their bed, she probably made the darn bed, she could weld, fix the tractor, haul cattle, bake a cake, raise chickens, make jewelry. Last summer the ranch they lived on caught on fire during a thunderstorm and by the time the fire department showed up she had made a fire path with a maintainer and put out most of the fire with tow sacks.

I was so excited to find out the extent of her skill sets that I tore my honey-do list up for the husband and set out to make her my new best friend. And she Loved my children! And they would do anything for her. We had so much fun together. We didn't have a whole lot in common as far as interests, but who needs to talk about art and literature when you're new best friend can build you a dining room table!

And it was so wonderful to have someone to depend on way out here in the middle of nowhere. If either of us went out town, we could depend on each other to watch the ranch and feed the animals. Hayes and Andrew could help each other work cattle, work on water problems and feed. Kylia and I had plans of gardening, raising chickens and sharing milk cow duties. But now it's all gone, gone I tell you!

kylia and andrew

We had so much fun having them over for football, game night, dinner and holidays. My husband and I were looking forward to their having children so our kids could play with them. We had it all worked out and then they destroyed the dream by leaving and moving back to where they came from. We still drive by their house on the way to town and wish they were here. And no matter who moves in there it will never be the same. Now it's back to being just us and whoever the border patrol is chasing across the mountains.

A Season of Plenty

2010-11-22T11:53:00.000-08:00

I live for this time of year! Some people love summer, but I love autumn and the holiday season. It goes by way to fast for me. In fact, I begin to get in a manic state about September and then go through a major let down in January when I have to face the long, crazy windy months of February and March. This time of year is a time for me to go into super Martha Stewart mode and plan a craft bonanza. My craftiness is always derailed by the constraints of potty training, homeschooling and housework, but I still dream of a house accented with natural substance arrangements, fall foliage garlands around the fireplace and every turkey handprint craft imaginable.

Speaking of crafts...does anyone know what these things are? They came off a huge tree I found on a remote dirt road and they resemble some sort of weird fruit. Please tell me they're not poisonous.

This next photo is of the Indian Corn we miraculously grew by accident about three years ago. I had bought some decorative corn at the store and thrown it out for the javelinas after Thanksgiving. Well lo and behold a year later it popped up in the midst of some cactus and algerita bushes! It was absolutely beautiful and I immediately had fantasies of starting an indian corn empire (because I paid about $2.00 a cob at the store - hello.) We call it our miracle corn and we bring it out every year for decoration. Unfortunately, that was the only year we grew corn successfully, decorative or otherwise.

We survived Halloween without any peanut allergy related incident, thank the Lord. We came home with tons of nasty candy that I'm sure was made in China so I immediately threw out anything that would pull out a tooth if chewed and hid the rest in a cabinet. Every year I make a declaration not to celebrate Halloween and every year I buckle under pressure and buy cheesy, badly made polyester costumes and drive an hour in to town so my kids can run around collecting candy they can't eat. The next day we suffered the mother of all post Halloween apocalyptic meltdowns due to too much sugar and not enough sleep.

This is Pidgeon's fourth year as a princess, go figure, and Punkin was a fairy and Rooster was a Knight's Templar (a fact that was lost on everyone). Note to self - next year don't buy costumes at Gymboree because everyone and their dog will have the same one.

We've been very busy with home school. I've had a wonderful time sharing my obsession with colonial America with my children and as kindergartners and first graders I'm sure they know way more about the Wampanoags, Puritans, Jamestown and the destruction of the first peoples than they ever wanted to know or could even absorb at this age. November is Native American Heritage month and so we've had fun comparing the natives of Virginia and Massachusetts to the native people that lived on this ranch at one time. We all agree the people here got the short end of the stick because there's nothing to eat here and it would be hard to grow corn. (believe me - we've tried)

If my son went to school in town he wouldn't get to wear this ensemble to school, would he? (notice the duct tape around his boot as a finishing touch)

And finally, my baby is going to be two this week. On Thanksgiving no less. She may not talk but she is great at getting her point across. Here she is wearing the new hat her grandmother made her. She seldom takes it off. And she has developed an obsession for those tacky Disney princess shoes, which I would have never seen coming. I would have pinned her for more of a cowboy boots kind of girl. I guess she's following in her big sister's foot prints.
Happy Thanksgiving Friends!

Trip down the river road

2010-10-26T10:47:00.000-07:00

For Columbus day, my husband decided to take a day off and go on a road trip. Huge! So we piled in the Ford flatbed and overloaded on sugary drinks and processed food and away we went down to Presidio for lunch and then followed the river road (that river being the Rio Grande) down to Lajitas and Terilingua and then back up through Alpine.

Presidio was the same as it's been for hundreds of years - hot. We had a great lunch at a Mexican restaurant - not unusual for the Mexican border. The ride from Presidio to Terlingua takes along time, but it's even longer when you have three small children, three car seats, diaper bag, camera bag and snacks crammed into a truck with a not so great air conditioner.

We enjoyed the scenery from Presidio to Lajitas. It's a great time of year down here, not too hot or cold. The mountains are beautiful along the river and I wish now I'd taken more pictures. Here are some...

In the pens with a camera

2010-10-01T08:46:00.000-07:00

Recently, we worked cattle and shipped calves. Let me clarify this by saying I did not work cattle - I cooked. Contrary to popular belief, most ranches don't use chuckwagons anymore. Most ranches don't have cattle drives, stay out for days on end, or have their cowboys sleep under the stars and sing to each other. Some larger ranches do, but for the most part, small family owned ranches like my husband's family's ranch just hire guys for a day or two during the fall or spring.

I have a lot of girlfriends that that make great hands and are better help than alot of men, but I am not one of them. It's very hard work and I would get in the way or get somebody hurt. I am not a very good cowgirl. I am just fine with my role as the event caterer and my husband loves to have real food for the men to eat and not just burritos served on the tailgate of the truck

The guys are used to me hanging around with my camera. I'm no Bob Moorehouse, but I enjoy trying to capture our life in a sincere, moving way.

My son is old enough now to start helping his Dad on horseback. He's so excited! It's wonderful to see him follow in his father's footsteps, and his grandfather's, and great and great great grandfather's. That doesn't mean he's off the hook for med school, but I hope he is proud of the ranching tradition. My mother in law's family has been on this land almost 130 years.

Next year, it will be my oldest daughter's turn to help. I'm not sure how much help she will be unless we buy her a pink horse and let her wear her tiara, but at least she can try. One of the many things I love about my husband is how involved he is with his children. He spends every free moment with one of his children and he takes the girls with him as much as he does his son. But that day the girls were purely spectators.

I'm taking a Challenge!

2010-09-16T08:50:00.001-07:00

Are you up for it? I am taking the Homemaker’s Challenge (link: http://tinyurl.com/2a9ma3m). It is fun for the homemaking, cooking, baking, wife, simple living mom, organizing, decorating, money saving, fashionista, and blogging “expert” in all of us!

Who is Eating My Cats?

2010-09-08T13:38:00.000-07:00

Nothing beats having a good kid dog. We are lucky to have the sweetest, dumber than a rock puppy named Diego who loves nothing in the world than following my little children. He would do anything for them I know it. Diego was getting a little lonely because our sixteen year old Aussie died last fall (more on that later) and he needed some company so he would quit running off to the headquarters to play with the blue tick hound so we bought him a girlfriend. She is precious. She is a red Australian Shepherd with beautiful green eyes and we named her Chispa, which means 'spark' in spanish. (or so I've been told b/c I don't speak spanish....yet). But deep down, I am a cat person. If I'm ever left alone to my own devices in my old age I will be the hometown 'catlady'.

Unfortunately, now my cats are disappearing or I guess have officially disappeared. These are not house cats so don't pull out the tissue yet and I was the only who even knew their names. They were recycled versions of four generations of barn cats without a barn. They lived in the pasture, underneath the broken down jeep or in my garden. They wouldn't let me tame them or pet them unless they were in labor with kittens. Isn't that weird? I fed them everyday, much to the chagrin of my husband who thought I was ruining them. I tried to explain that there wasn't much more ruining you could do because if you can't love on them and talk baby talk to them or buy them sparkly collars, they were pretty much useless to me. I'm not even sure they hunted or kept away the snakes. I guess we'll find now out won't we? Because they're all gone.

The evidence was left in the middle of the dirt road going up to our house. Daisy had met a bad end but made a coyotes dinner. Tom disappeared entirely. Bob was run over and left her kittens underneath a catclaw bush for me to try my luck with. I can't even begin to tempt them up to the house. I hear a big owl at night trying to find them as well. So now this is exactly what I need. I go out every night with my flashlight and a bowl of cat food and try my best to get these kittens out of the catclaw so they will eat and not be eaten. As if I don't have enough to worry about.

Sewing together your past

2010-09-06T10:41:00.000-07:00

One of the many things that kept me busy this summer was trying to finish up the genealogy projects I started a year or so ago. I am from a long line of history nerds so when I got bit by the genealogy bug it became almost an obsession. Seriously, it’s almost what we Christians call a ‘stronghold’. I don’t fit the typical demographic for this hobby, so most of the people I can share this addiction with are over fifty years old. I call it my old people sport. We trade emails and secrets and mutually feel sorry for our neglected family members who barely tolerate our habits. I’ve met some really neat people through this hobby.

Unfortunately, my research is limited to what I can find on the internet. It would be nice to travel around the U.S. looking for documents and taking pictures of old headstones, but as of now I have to rely on the research that others have done. I was surprised at the massive amount of information that is readily available online.

I originally started my husband and my combined family tree so that someday my three small children would know their family history. My husband’s maternal tree was relatively easy because he comes from a well documented and historically interesting old Texas family. Through Ancestry.com I was able to piece together his history relatively quickly. However, there were huge missing links in my own tree and his paternal family tree, some of which I may never find. It goes with being rural, migratory and poor. It’s very discouraging to not be able to find the missing pieces of the puzzle.

This is what it’s like for African Americans who try to sew together the fabric of their history. Most of us, if we know what we’re doing, can trace our family tree back to the early 1700’s or earlier. African Americans can barely trace their families back to the late 1800’s, if that. While slavery existed Africans and mulattos were listed only as first names on ledgers of inventory, not allowed to marry, attend churches and not documented when they died. It didn’t get much better during Reconstruction, especially in the southern states. What little information came by way of Census records in the later years of the nineteenth century. That is while oral family history is so important to African American researchers.

While on my family search I had the misfortune of viewing many, many family documents online which list slave ledgers, wills and estate documents of my family. This was invaluable for my family research as far as documenting names and dates of my family members, but it was a cruel reminder that I am a by product of a slave holding legacy. And as one who is interested in African American history and the origins of slavery, it is ironic and painful for me that one of the progenitors of my American family was a man who brought the first Africans to the New World.

I realize that I am not responsible for the sins of my forefathers any more than I’m responsible for the transgressions of my parents or grandparents, but it was lesson for me. What does it mean to be an American? I think all of us carry the collective history of our forefathers. None of really know who we are. So as much as we think we are one color or nationality, we can always be surprised and educated by our past.

My search for my ancestors made me both sad and proud to be American. For me it meant that I am the slave and the slave owner, the Native American and the Indian Scout, the pilgrim and the unwanted immigrant, the land owner and the sharecropper, the sinner and the circuit riding preacher, a culmination of the hope and tragedy of the history of the New World. I am an American. My tapestry is colorful, torn, ragged and valuable and whether we are black, Hispanic, Asian, Indian or Anglo we can all say the same of the garments we carry.

The summer that lasted a day

2010-08-23T10:30:00.000-07:00

It really went by so quickly, didn't it? In April I was planting my garden and now in August I've woken up and summer is gone.

The garden really took over my life this summer and unfortunately, I didn't have much to show for it. My tomatoes didn't produce and I had a weird fungus get almost everything else. I missed the pataya cactus and algerita berries and it looks like I'll miss the prickly pear as well. I have nothing to put up for the winter. The reasons for disastrous crop failing is another post in of itself.

Most of the summer I spent nursing my three children through a mysterious intestinal illness. I can't begin to recall how many diapers I changed or how many times a day I was wiping someone hiney. (your welcome for the visual). Now we all have a summer cold and/or allergies to broom weed.

The ranch is going to host destination weddings and corporate events in the future and so I have also been very busy getting ready for that. We have a new website: http://www.theranchoescondido.com/. The owners have done a lot of landscaping, put in a pool and various other projects. Hopefully we will be up and running next summer. I am very excited about the prospect of being an event planner again.

We survived another year at Bloys Campmeeting (more of that in a later post). That went by too fast as well. By the time I unloaded our stuff at the cabin it was time to pack it all up again. In fact, it took me longer to get ready for it than the time I was actually there.

I am working like mad trying to buy books for the school year and implement some kind of schedule. My kids have been left to their own devices so long that they're looking at me like I'm crazy when I try to get back to some sort of structure.

We will start the school year next week. It might be very painful.

Garden time in the desert

2010-04-21T06:36:00.000-07:00

You have to really want to grow your own food to plant a vegetable garden where I live. In the last three weeks I have begun the process of preparing our garden for planting. It's taken that long time to dig, till and remove all the rocks from our existing garden spot. Then we have to haul in more dirt, buy amended soil from the store and dig the rows for the plants. By the time I've done all this, I've spent more energy and money then it would cost of I'd just bought the vegetables at the store.

That being said, I will hopefully reap the rewards of our garden when we pick the first tomato and eat our first ear of corn. Yes, I planted corn again even though it never grows well and I eventually have to rip it all out to make room for other plants. I am determined to grow my own corn, though because it is so much better out of your own garden. Another bonus to having a garden is that my kids seem to have a greater appreciation for vegetables and food in general.

So if I can get rid of the cactus, lechigulla, and don't end up being a rock farmer in two weeks I should have the start of a beautiful relationship with food.

Help, I've got sand in my lipgloss

2010-03-29T05:35:00.000-07:00

It has been a crazy month. We spent our 'spring break' dealing with all kinds of drama. Unlike most people, we didn't go on vacation, it was more like a 'I can't teach and go through all of this at the same time' kind of thing. First we had sewer problems, and then we were out of electricity for days (not fun with a house full of kids - I don't care what 'off the grid' folks say) and then my husband was hurt in a horse accident that left him laid up for a couple of days. And if you've ever had an active husband trapped in his house for a couple of days then you know how pleasant that can be.

But things are finally getting back to normal and spring is almost here. The wind has arrived and held us hostage for weeks, which is nothing unusual for this part of the world. Instead of spring, my kids call this the 'windy season' which goes along with the other seasons - hunting season, winter and summer. Its not unusual for the wind to blow 50 miles an hour and this year it's torn off our screen doors, blown off our metal chimney and torn up our gas grill. The dirt fills the air like a black cloud. It's never a good idea to wear lipgloss in March or April.

I'm hoping it will cease for a few days so I can get the garden planted. The kids are a big help with the garden and this year the baby will take part as well. I have so much to do in the way of landscaping and gardening, it seems overwhelming. And hopefully I can start teaching outside soon so the kids will get their Charlotte Mason daily recommended dose of nature. Speaking of nature, we are surrounded by babies. There are calves everywhere and they are so fun to watch. Now if it would just rain so our grass would turn green.

Why We Homeschool

2010-02-26T12:05:00.000-08:00

We live down a very long dirt road. I am fond of telling people that we are geographically challenged. That was our initial reason for homeschooling when we decided that we would move to the ranch five years ago. I knew that homeschooling would be the plan if we didn't want to drive an hour back and forth each day. It was not an easy decision for me coming from a family of teachers. My mother, uncles and aunts and most of my friends are teachers so I think some of them consider me a traitor to my own kind. If you live in rural Texas, chances are you are a teacher or a nurse. Thankfully, my sister in law homeschooled with great success and so my husband is a big supporter, plus I live in an area that has always had a thriving homeschool community.

If you would have asked me ten years ago if I would ever consider homeschooling I would have keeled over laughing. And I think most current homeschooling moms can say the same thing. It really does seem like there is a revolution in the homeschooling movement, as you can tell by the amazing amount of homeschooling mom blogs.

When friends tell me how amazed they are that I'm homeschooling and give me the standard "you're so brave because I could never, ever do that" speech with that "you must be crazy" look in their eye, I defensively respond, 'Have you seen where I live?" Like "no way would I be doing this otherwise." However, that is not really the truth and feel like I'm short changing myself. The truth is now I love homeschooling. I wonder now if I had the choice, would I have it any other way.

I feel like my children and I are a team united on one quest. Everyday we learn together, we challenge one another. Sometimes it's as hard for me to muster up the mental fortitude to make it through handwriting and arithmetic as it for them. I would love as much to check my email or clean my kitchen as they would love to be playing outdoors, but we challenge each other to keep going. And I look forward to learning with them as much as I do educating them. When they catch on to something new we all do the happy dance together and celebrate. I don't remember ever not once celebrating learning in school.

Now granted, my kids are five, three and one so give me a few years to get self righteous. It is very challenging when one or three of them is tired, sick or moody. Sometimes I'm tired, sick and moody and I don't have the luxery of dropping them off at school or with someone to take care of and I have to just keep going. I'll outline the challenges I face personally with homeschooling in a later post, mainly just for myself so I can monitor my progress. My husband and friends can tell you that there are days when it changes me in to a crazy person.

One of the unexpected joys of homeschooling for me is how much I've enjoyed teaching my children the bible and instructing them on matters of the heart. It's such a delight to see how close they've grown to God and to each other and what a significant difference daily habit training has made on their development. Another thing I love about being able to homeschool is the variety of things they get to learn. We're not penned in to a set curriculum and so learning is organic and spontaneous. Plus, my children get exposed to classical music, art and beautiful literature and aren't stuck with their nose in a text book or learning for one annual test.

Living on a ranch provides numerous learning opportunities, especially for little boys fascinated with earth science. A large part of the kid's education involves nature studies on fascinating geological formations and wildlife habitat as well as hands on learning about weather, gardening and animal care. We're outside a lot and I think that makes a huge difference.

I try not to become too opinionated about homeschooling when talking to friends and family because I appreciate everyone's individual need to educate their children in the way they see fit. I'm glad I live in a state that affords us the individual right to choose. The more I learn the more I grow in confidence and I'm looking forward to our homeschooling journey as long as it continues to be the best thing for our family.

Oh Sister

2010-02-13T07:48:00.000-08:00

Ten pounds is hard to lose. Since I've been pregnant for five years I have gained and lost hundreds of pounds and 13 months after birthing my last baby all I have is ten more pounds to go. But I don't think it wants to go away. No, its settled here on my lap and I think it's made itself at home. Now I know.... I could go to the gym....not. I could eat right. That would mean preparting an entirely different meal other than the one my family is eating, which is by the way, not exactly healthy. Dinner is homemade, wholesome food, but prepared for the man who digs postholes for a living, mind you.

Losing ten pounds will mean shifting my priorities. I will have to...ugh....exercise. So now I can for the one hour a day that I have for myself (I don't have an hour, but I will find one) exercise instead of taking a shower, doing a bible study, checking my email, updating this sorry excuse for a blog, or heaven forbid - taking a nap. I will have to do this before the snacks come out and that will be soon.

Will I be in a bikini in time for summer around the stock tank? I don't know, but I'll keep you posted. In the meantime, I have a lot of sisters out in the pasture who feel me.

Nature Study - February

2010-02-02T12:55:00.000-08:00

Our nature study this month will feature bird's nests. Yesterday the kids and I drove around the ranch to find what little we could in the way of trees that might hold various desert birds' nests. We found many cactus wren nests, which are built in the choya cactus. What we lack in trees, we make up for in cactus and that is why our main focus this week will be the cactus wren. Then we will study the ever present Roadrunner and the glorious Red Tailed Hawk.

A conspicuous sight and sound of the Southwestern deserts, the Cactus Wren is the largest wren in North America. Although it can be found in urban backyards, it is a true bird of the desert and can survive without freestanding water. - www.allaboutbirds.org

Camera Envy

2010-02-01T12:36:00.000-08:00

I can't believe we just bought a camera that cost more than it cost to deliver my last child. I can't believe my husband, who is the smart one of the family, thought it was a good idea. It started out as an idea, buy a better camera than the five year old 5 megapixel piece of junk that took five minutes of you holding down the button before it would actually take the picture, but then quickly grew in to an absolute obsession.

I thought it would take years of saving money, but something happened that enabled us to have extra cash to go along with the egg money I'd been saving for a hutch/buffet. Now the enormous empty space in my dining room is still there but we do have an amazing tool to capture memories of our family.

Not to mention we live in a beautiful area that screams to be photographed. Every day is a photo op. I still don't know how to work the darn thing, but I bought a book on it larger than my complete works of Shakespeare and I've been reading every conceivable thing online I can find. This could indeed be a stronghold.

My Fairy Princess

2010-01-29T07:23:00.000-08:00

I think we all have seasons of our children's lives that we can say we've enjoyed the most. I know a lot of women who love being pregnant and some friends of mine love newborns, others loved when their kids were toddlers or when they are older. I can't say I have an absolute favorite time because I've enjoyed every stage of my children's lives, and I didn't even mind the 'terrible two's' because my kids weren't terrible. My son spoiled me rotten until he turned five and then he decided go through the 'terrible fives' after convincing me all those years that he was perfect (he's still perfect but in a different, more rambunctious, mischievous way.)

I can say that I've thoroughly enjoyed my daughter being three. I now think nothing is better in the world than a three year old little girl. Her day starts with boundless energy. She greets everyone with a big smile and joyous good morning and immediately starts talking non stop about all her wonderful plans for the day. I drag myself half dazed from being up all night with a baby to the coffee pot, where Pigeon waits for me firing rapidly with questions. "Can we have a tea party?" "Can I wear my princess costume"? "In the spring will you build me a castle in a Wonderland?" I don't know what a Wonderland requires, but it's a good thing daddy has a MIG welder. After breakfast she is dressed in full princess or Fancy Nancy Regalia, complete with jewels and crowns and a host of baby dolls. I still haven't woken up enough to fathom how I'm going to entertain such energy all day. And she's so good natured to her big brother and baby sister and always includes them in her itinerary for the day.

During the day and in the evening she is always underfoot, asking to help me cook or wash the dishes. "Of course," I say and even though it takes twice as long and it's twice as messy, I let her climb up and sling flour and dish soap around the kitchen. I might be wrong, but I'm pretty sure this isn't her father's favorite stage because she talks non stop and at a very high pitch and he can't watch any TV without her bouncing into the room with some random question. Then she flits away as quickly as she comes in, trailing jewelry and baby dolls as she goes.

As I tuck her in at night she asked dreamily, "can we have a picnic tomorrow and then I can be a princess and you can be the mommy and then we can go to Africa and maybe come home and make cupcakes and have a friend spend the night and then you can buy me a princess talking vanity for my birthday and after that can we....." After she's asleep I sneak into her room and marvel at how something so vibrant can suddenly become so still and serene. And I thank God that he has given me three children so different, so special and so beautiful in their own way. And I pray for more energy.

Post Holiday Blues

2010-01-04T08:40:00.000-08:00

It seems like I just put up the Christmas tree and now I face the much maligned task of taking it down. Note to self next year - skip the tacky, white trash icicles. I hate to dismantle Christmas because it makes it a reality that the holiday season is over and the long, windy, barren months of January through March begin. It's my most dreaded time of year. Thank goodness I'm homeschooling and I will at least be occupied with teaching. At least that's what I thought until this morning....

Today was our first day back on a schedule after taking it easy for three weeks. I didn't expect it to go too well necessarily, but I was shocked that the kids completely melted down and acted like I had just asked them to clean out a stock tank. It didn't help that I'm recovering from the flu and I have limited patience. I'm convinced that they can smell when you're weak and use it to their advantage. If this is the what I can expect every time we come back from a break than I'll teach year round. Does anyone have a remedy for this?

Happy Birthday Punkin

2009-12-08T12:30:00.000-08:00

It has been a year since you were born. A year of night time wakings, giggles, soft tiny fingers holding on to my not so soft lined hands. It has been a year of waking up in the morning listening for your singing in the crib, of a brother and sister jumping up and down when I carry you in to the room, anxious to be the first to hold you. A year of your daddy wrestling and bouncing you and giving you whisker kisses. A whole year of kisses and stroking your soft round head, praying for the day your stick straight hair would finally lay down and then being sad when it did. Soon you will have real words to replace the constant "decka, decka, decka" sound you make and you wobbling legs will start to run across the yard with strength and stability. It will all go too fast. But Happy Birthday Punkin. It was a great year. (photo courtesey of Jodi Cravens Photography)

Where the Wild Things Are

2009-11-19T13:08:00.000-08:00

Rooster is five years old and already eats like he's going out to plow a field. He wakes up hungry. I don't know where he puts it all in his skinny 45 lb frame but it definantly goes to his unending energy supply.

Soccer ended this week and that means it will be a never ending battle to keep him occupied and contained until April, when some other small town sporting event starts up again. And again, I will make the hour long trip into town twice a week just so he can play with other kids and run around. Until then we may have to find him a job like painting a fence or grubbing mesquite or hauling rocks in his John Deere Gator. It's a matter of national security.

2009-10-23T12:24:00.000-07:00

Among the many aspects of being a modern day mom is this notion that we all have to be super healthy. It starts of slowly, we buy the organic frozen veggies instead of the plain old Birds Eye version and then it suddenly progresses to swallowing Chinese mushrooms with lukewarm water, which is what I'm a little embarrassed to admit is what I've just done. And I've just talked to my bff on the phone about doing a detox cleanse if that doesn't cure what ails me.

This has got to stop. First it was the organic business, now I'm giving my kids cod liver oil in there juice, I'm even making my own sprouted bread today. For months I've entertained the idea of buying a milk cow so we can stop drinking that poison they call pasteurized milk and so that I can (in my spare time) make my own yogurt, cheese and sour cream. The same said bff I mentioned above has been making her infant daughter's baby formula for months now and you can't imagine the lengths she goes to to procure the ingredients for this formula, most of it I haven't even heard of before. This little girl will defiantly graduate from high school by the time she's five I have no doubt, and she is the happiest, little bundle of baby roll you can imagine and when she comes home from high school mad at her mom because she won't let her go riding around with a senior, I will be able to tell her "I don't want to hear it - your mother MADE your formula!" Who does that??

We do. We are the new manic motherhood. We manic mothers plan our child's nutrition, we read labels, we self diagnose, and more importantly - we research stuff on the internet. I can safely say my mother not once even glanced at the box of Lucky Charms cereal to find out the sugar content and wondered, "hmmm, I wonder if this is whole grain. I wonder if the combination of Twizzle Sticks and Kool Aid will put Michelle into a diabetic coma." No, I grew up on Big Red and beef jerky and enough preservatives from the Hamburger Helper that I should still look like I'm ten. I worry about the dangers of high fructose corn syrup and the sugar content of fruit juice and forget that I've had enough cola in my life that I'm surprised have any teeth left.

We plan more activities for our toddlers than I had in junior high. I don't remember having activities as a child. I was kicked outside to ride my lead based paint bicycle up and own a street laden with unknowns, allowed to find the ice cream truck by myself, build forts in the backyard and hose down the cement porch to make a make shift water slide. I don't think my parents once looked at me and said, "you know I think we need to nurture Michelle's creative side. let's find some art classes to enroll her in or maybe we should put her in ballet before she's five."

I'm driving an hour back and forth to town so that my son, who is five can play soccer. Were you on an organized sports team at five? Or did your neighborhood friends just ask you over to play baseball? A group of gals in my town have organized a playgroup, complete with art instructors and paid musicians. There are actual invitations sent out, not just a phone call saying, "hey, let's meet at the park at 3:00."

I've invested a lot of money in the past few weeks feeding my paranoia of the swine flu. My kids don't leave the car without being rubbed down with anti bacterial gel. It makes sense because we live on a ranch and not a day goes by that my dog doesn't drag a half eaten javelina carcass into the yard for the kids to run across, or we don't have to deal with the yearly rabies or tularemia scare. My husband drags in more bacteria in the form of cow manure on his cowboy boots than I will ever encounter on the shopping carts at the local grocery store. And thanks to a morning talk show I now know my washing machine is the most unsanitary place in the world because of my husbands dirty man clothes. But that doesn't stop me from spraying down every inch of the table at a restaurant with alcohol spray and not letting my kids put their lemons into their tea. They can, however, go home and play in the sandpile behind our house that doubles as the cats litterbox.

Manic mothers need organization, we need to be in control. We meal plan, have household chore websites we frequent, we make shopping with coupons an art form. And after I grow my own wheat so I can make my own bread, I'm going to sit down and blog about it. Because that's what manic mommas do.

Pre Admission to Harvard may not be necessary

2009-09-19T09:18:00.000-07:00

The new school began about a month ago and the newness has officially worn off and has been replaced with complacency. I may have more than I bargained for teaching a kindergartner, preschooler and herding around a ten month old who just started walking and who likes to eat erasures.

Early in the month I self diagnosed Rooster with ADHD because he can't sit still, he has the attention span of a hummingbird and he can't retain information longer than a nano second. While ADD and ADHD run rampant in my family, I know now that his symptoms could also be diagnosed as a five year old boy. I've taken the option of being in denial as so as a preventative to hyper behavior I make sure he has a good breakfast, his lessons are short and that he gets plenty of outdoor time. It seems to have helped. At this point I'm the only taking tranquilizers.

Pigeon loves school, but refuses to admit she's in preschool. She wants to learn the same thing her big brother learns, which is fine but she hasn't mastered basic skills like holding a pencil, cutting with scissors and she is not able to even sit up straight in a chair. For some reason chairs are one big boobie trap for Pigeon.

The Punkin is ten months old now loves to sit on the floor and yell at the kids as they do their work. When she's not belting out high pitched squeals, she's gumming the table, ripping up paper, and as I mentioned before - she's eating erasures. I intermittently put her in the playpen for some individual play time but she doesn't like this so much and instead of squealing on the floor in the classroom she screams at the top of her lungs from the living room.

I'm told by other homeschool moms that it will get easier. A friend of mine has taught eight of her children and judging by her Facebook pictures she's not old before her time. Now she might be crazy and I wouldn't know it.

I try to remember that I really am giving them a good education. As I watch their eyes glaze over during a Shakespeare lesson or poetry reading or while they listen to Handel I try to remember that they're getting more of this now than they would in 12 years in our local school system. They're studying a foreign language, doing great at math and learning to read and they get to spend a tremendous amount of time studying nature. Now if I can just keep from turning into a grouchy old hag that would be great.

Summer is gone

2009-09-02T08:14:00.001-07:00

Summer is all but gone and yet it doesn't seem like it was ever really here. The temperatures were mild, but unfortunately we never got the outpouring of rain we usually get in July and August, which will make for a very long winter.

Time has flown by since Annaliese was born last November. I scarcely remember the holidays or Campbell and Madi Ryan's birthdays. I worked most of the spring trying to plant a garden in solid caliche. My poor husband drove steel posts for me through rock and caliche for the garden fence and brought tractor loads of dirt in from a dirt tank. I planted for weeks and watered incessantly because it never rained. By the beginning of August I was pulling up beans that never grew, corn with ear worms, squash and bell peppers that never bloomed and eggplants that never grew. All of my tomatoes got bloom end rot. The only vestige of my garden that did well was lettuce. My hopes of storing up vegetables for the winter and making extra money at the farm stands are shot.

My original intentions were to have an organic garden. That idea was nixed when the dinosaur grasshoppers started showing up and then pretty soon my garden was like Costa Rica for grasshoppers. We had giant black and gold ones, red wings, bright green ones, camo colored ones, and giant spindly legged ones and they were everywhere. And you had to have a hunting license to kill some of these bad boys. You couldn't just kill them, you had to immobilize them first and then go on in for the death blow because they were so fast. It was a constant battle and unfortunately, they won.

What vegetables I did manage to harvest, I canned. This was not even remotely as glamorous as I thought it would be. In the end, I was quoting my friends reactions, "I could buy this at the store. Who cares if it has preservatives and is canned in unsafe plants and has a ton of sodium in it. This is nuts.' But I know that when January comes I can open my cupboard and pull out a jar of fresh tasting tomatoes and it will be heaven and I will have thought that all this hard work was worth it. Or maybe not. By next spring, all of the frustrations will be forgotten and I will be again lusting over my Burpee garden, planning the rows and beds and dreaming of farm stands and even canning. Because I have something to prove dang it.

What would Charlotte Mason do?

2007-11-18T11:38:00.000-08:00

I love Charlotte Mason's philosophy of education. It fits in wonderfully with our lifestyle here on the ranch and with my background in the arts. I get to incorporate the three things I love most in life into my childrens education: the Bible, nature and Shakespeare. Although my children are yet toddlers I find time in each day to read to them, create art, recite poetry, teach them a bible story, dance and spend as much time as possible outdoors.

Charlotte Mason advocated spending as much as 3-4 hours a day outside with children and so spending time outdoors is generally Daddy's department because he takes them with him to put out deer feed or to feed the cattle. It's more of a challenge for me to spend time outside with them because I'm distracted by housework, cooking dinner or various other things when I'm not playing school. However, I am trying to discipline myself enough to take the outside at least once a day. So last week I packed up our art supplies, their snacks, a blanket and some toys and headed off down to the yard at headquarters to spend our alloted time with nature. It's not fun to play in our yard yet because we just have a caliche pit for a yard since having our new house built. Spending time on a blanket in the middle of a caliche pit is no fun so its worth the effort to drive 1 mile to the ranch headquarters, where there is a huge grassy lawn with shade trees to sit under.

Once we were settled I asked my son to describe his surroundings to me with the technique Charlotte Mason suggests. He found several large branches that had been blown off the surrounding trees and began compairing them in accordance to their bark, leaves etc. Minutes went by when I realized he was red and swollen from his neck to his torso. I recognized this as a sign of an allergic reaction because he is allergic to peanuts and has had reactions before, although none this bad. I immediately gathered up our things and drove back to our house to administer Benadryl. I'm assuming that one of the branches was from a pecan tree and that he must be allergic to pecans as well which brings his food allergy count up to four: peanuts, eggs, soy and pecans.

This freaked me out for about a day and then I decided I wouldn't be detered and would start the next day with our usual outdoor activities. That morning we started seeing the Border Patrol on the ranch. It's not unusual to see the BP since we live so close to the border, but generally they don't come this far out unless there's some activitiy in the area. My husband also started getting calls from the local sector saying that there was a group of maybe eight men that the BP had been tracking over night and that they had been spotted coming over the roughest terrain on the ranch, which coincidently was only about a mile from our house. These men were assumed to be drug traffickers and not just illegal immigrants because of the route they had taken and because of the tactics they had used to evade law enforcement.

Due to the activity in the area we stayed close to our house for the next few days to assist the BP if they needed it and to also guard our house. This went on for several days. Finally we learned that the drug traffickers and their 'coyote' as their guide is called made it to the highway and they were picked up by their ride.

In addition to all this, days before I also found another large rattlesnake trying to get on the porch. This makes the fourth one in our yard this summer. I thought they had all gone in their dens by now because it's started to get colder, but I guess I was wrong. Needless to say my false sense of security living in a remote area seemingly protected from all the dangers of the world has been shattered. Granted these things I've experienced come with the territory of living on a remote ranch and I might as well get used to it. Yet I wonder, would Charlotte Mason be packing heat?

Remembering Cody

2007-11-18T11:07:00.000-08:00

Cody, this would have been your 34th birthday, but in my eyes you will always be nineteen, or three, or twelve years old.

I have done numerous things over the years to celebrate your life on November 10th, your birthday. The first year I took the train all the way out to Brighton Beach and had a picnic by the water amongst the russian immigant families and mob bosses with their speedos and gold jewelry and watched planes fly overhead with banners advertising strip clubs. The next year I brought champagne into the Crystal Bar in Alpine and made the cowboys drink a toast to you. In subsequent years I fed the homeless in Manhatten, drove around the hill country in Texas, had dinner with friends, bought lunch for down-on-their-luck young bronc riders in truck stops that reminded me of you, and more than once drowned my sorrows in my favorite Irish bar. My favorite thing to do when I finally moved back home was to do what you and I did together, take a drive through the mountains and drink Big Red soda and listen to Tejano music.

Now I have two children, your nephew who is three and your niece who is 19 months old. I watch them fight over the same things we did, play the same silly games we invented, tell on each other, defend each other at the playground and hug each other at bedtime. They have our family's blue eyes. More than once they've looked up at me and I've seen your face and had to catch my breath. During that moment I realize that words cannot describe how much you mean to me and a book couldn't hold all of the memories of our life together, but having my kids to tell stories to will be what preserves your memory for me.

Today we're going to put in a Marty Robbins CD and drive around the ranch and look for deer, I'm going to give them a Big Red soda and immediately regret it when the sugar high sets in. I will spend the rest of the day chasing them around, watching them fight over toys and defending myself against tickle monsters. I hope you enjoy the show. I miss you everyday.

Halloween Drama

2007-10-23T15:27:00.000-07:00

I feel blessed to be shielded from the things other mothers generally have to worry about like car jackers, pedophiles living in our neighborhood, crack dealers at the playground, bullies in class. However, I do have to worry about unusual things that other mothers never come across; for instance, we have mojave rattlesnakes, bobcats and mountain lions surrounding us on the ranch we live on, not to mention scorpions and black widow spiders. I accept these dangers as they come with the territory of living on a remote ranch and I am constantly aware of my surroundings when my children are with me. I don't have much control over these components of my life, other than to be well armed in case I'm threatened.

But one thing I do have in common with too many families is that my son suffers from a peanut allergy. Needless to say this time of year is nerve wracking for me. Right now it's not so bad because my kids are small and they haven't really caught on to the fact that kids around the country will be trick or treating next Wednesday. I can get away with not participating this year, but next year I'm afraid will be very taxing on my nerves. I can't shoot peanuts.